The Trend of Online Dating and Things You need to Be Careful
In the Internet age, the emergence of marriage and love websites has opened up a whole new field for all living beings to find their partners. In the process of online dating and making friends, we will meet different types of people and learn more about ourselves. The Internet has indeed created a lot of good relationships with the help of a huge membership database. However, the virtual world also contains considerable dangers. Netizens are often caught up in wealth. Psychologists pointed out that, strictly speaking, online blind dates are not more advantageous than traditional methods (such as chatting in a bar, introducing acquaintances). Netizens must grasp the balance between opening their hearts to find true love and protecting themselves from harm in order to catch up with this trend. , In particular, adequate safety measures must be taken.
Marriage website: There is no shortage of excellent men and women online
People’s work is getting busier and more mobile, but the connection between family and neighborhood is weakening. In the past, it was difficult to meet the needs of singles by introducing people to friends and family. For singles with children or over the age of 40, it is more difficult to find objects in the traditional way.
In the first few years, people felt embarrassed about searching for friends and marriage on the Internet. They always felt that they came to the Internet when they couldn’t find someone in reality. This shame has long since dissipated. People who go to dating sites are not necessarily sociable people, let alone unsellable “luo bottom oranges” and “leftover sugarcane”. There are many good singles. Even after the divorce, Zhao Guangjun, a well-known volunteer named “National Model of Morality”, logged onto a large-scale marriage dating website to register and publicly invite marriage to the whole society.
According to US survey data, 22% of heterosexual couples met online. According to an online survey of a dating website in the United States, one in six people who got married in the last three years met through dating websites.
Online sea selection: not serious enough in choosing a spouse
Online dating can provide you with a large number of candidates, far more than the opposite sex you can meet in life. As long as you wave the mouse in front of the computer, you can see the information of hundreds of people, handsome men and beautiful women. The photos have a panoramic view. Can this increase your odds?
Dr. Susan Klaus Whitburn, professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts in the United States, pointed out that what you see online is only information, not real people. The decision-making process of the two is different. When browsing and selecting objects in the huge membership database of dating sites, you may not necessarily read everyone’s information carefully. You are only attracted by some of the other’s personal characteristics (such as appearance), which is far less thorough than when you meet a real person. . Too many choices make you feel that the other party is not irreplaceable, and naturally you are not so serious in the relationship-if this one is not good enough, there are hundreds of people to choose from! In this regard, the psychologist Eli Finkel of Northwestern University in the United States warned that don’t expect to find the perfect person on the Internet-replace it if you are not good enough. You have missed a lot of excellent developments between searching and searching. Object.
Whitbook recommends not to blindly follow the trend, but to clarify your mate selection criteria, think about the characteristics of your spouse you most value before going online, and narrow the range of choices. Fill in your personal information carefully, try to be true and clear, and reflect your personal characteristics, otherwise it will only make you disappointed in the subsequent interactions and waste your opportunity. If online dating fails repeatedly, you can ask trusted friends or experts to point out what can be improved.
Online communication: chat for at least a week before meeting a real person
After getting acquainted on the marriage and love website, it is natural for both men and women to communicate with each other for a period of time using on-site letters, e-mails, and instant chat tools, then talk on the phone, and finally meet a real person in reality. Research has found that the development of online dating is faster than traditional methods. In this regard, Terry Obucci, a professor of sociology at the University of Oakland in the United States, suggested that at least one week of exchanges should be made before the real person meets.
Whitbook pointed out that the impression formed by convenient online communication may not be consistent with meeting real people. When there is a gap between expectations and reality, the feeling of disappointment is greater than that of seeing a real person at the beginning. Moreover, people generally hide their own shortcomings, such as concealing the truth about age, work, and even marital status. Some people simply lie. In contrast, seeing a real person can get a lot of non-verbal information to assist you in your judgment, such as whether you have emotional resonance with each other. She suggested not to replace real-life communication with online communication, and to meet or video chat with each other as soon as possible.
The American clinical psychologist Melanie Greenberg suggested that you should not fall in love with the other person until you meet the real person. After all, the other person may not be what is said on the Internet.
