How to find the perfect partner – Avoid these five kinds of people
I know that everyone wants to find a good partner at the beginning of every relationship, but when you love too fast, you are easily blinded by impulsive emotions. At the same time, no one knows who he is suitable from the beginning.
But please don’t be sad. It’s normal. If you haven’t engaged in the wrong relationship for a few times, you won’t know what true love is. You have never been hurt by a bad man or a bad woman. You can’t see that a good man and a good woman are there for you.
If life is a university, feelings are a compulsory course that you cannot avoid or escape. Therefore, in the “Life Blueprint Course”, I will ask students to figure out “what kind of partner you want” and “what you don’t want.” Only when you understand this, you will not spend time on “people who are not suitable for you” all the time, so that it will be meaningful for you to learn those love skills.
High-risk people in relationships
There is no “seven ways to find a good woman” in this world, and of course there is no “three bad men you absolutely can’t touch”. The reason for not judging this way is because these methods are too arbitrary, and a person’s emotional experience will grow , Not suitable now does not mean that the future is not suitable, it is necessary to retain flexibility.
Therefore, no one cannot be loved. No matter how bad a person is in the eyes of the public, there will be someone in the world who is suitable for him.
There is no absolute good or bad in this world, but there are people who are relatively suitable for you.
So what I’m going to share with you is: what kind of characteristics a person has, what effects will each have on your relationship, what problems may arise, and how you should deal with it.
Three types of person to avoid in being relationship with
1. Easily be affected person
One time a student said to me, “I have a partner for three months. Originally, she and I paid for each other when going out. Until a while ago, she participated in the college class reunion, and her good sisters said that they both went out. It was the boyfriend who paid the bill, or even the date that paid the bill. After my girlfriend came back, he was so upset about the incident and felt that I didn’t love her enough.”
I know that some people will start arguing about the topic of “should we all pay each other”, but this is actually a fake topic.
I’ve seen a lot of people paying for each and it’s still very sweet, and I’ve seen a lot of boys helping girls to pay for a smooth relationship. As long as the two people have the same values, it won’t be a problem who pays the bill.
But there is one characteristic that you should pay special attention to, that is, whether your partner is “easy to be influenced.” It is easy to be affected in a good situation. In a bad situation, it is tainted by the society and loses its own values.
So when he first dated with you, he could take you to and from get off work warmly. He didn’t think it was hard, but he quit after a while because his friend said he was a wife’s slave. When she was dating, she was an independent woman. She bought what she liked without pretending to be someone else’s. But one day she read an article that wrote:
“Never hypnotize yourself by saying that you only believe in love and disdain material things. Only if you are willing to throw your hard-earned money for you, it means that you truly love you.”
So she began to think that they would pay each time they went out. Did he not love himself that much at all?
Wake up, men and women! Just be the way you were. Many times you think that the other person has changed, but in fact you have become too much.
I put people who are easily affected as high-risk first, that is, because their values are always swinging and lack a central value that can strengthen themselves.
2. like to compare
“Why do other boyfriends take her off work, but I have to ride a scooter by myself?”
“Why is someone’s birthday when the other half sends him to travel abroad, but we can only sing KTV for dinner?”
“Why do other girlfriends cook and ask him to bring lunch, but you know nothing?”
Comparison is not a bad thing. Healthy comparison is a “way of measure.”
It will let you know that other couples are living in this way, and then from these ways, you can find a suitable one for both of you.
for example:
The Japanese will help another partner make a lunch box for lunch.
Shanghai men go home from get off work to cook in a hurry.
Before 1980, men paid all the bills.
But please don’t ask your partner to do the same because “everyone else does it.” When you say this, it actually implies that you think other people are better and the person next to you is worse. This is harmful.
If your favorite object has this characteristic, please pay attention, because he must also have the first characteristic at the same time-easy to be affected.
3. lack of security
There is a type of person who can’t stand loneliness. He must be accompanied by someone around him. He hopes that you will report to him for all meals and after get off work. You will accompany him when you have nothing to do during holidays. It is best to take him with you when you have a problem.
Insecure people are like duckweed, and being alone is as terrible to him as throwing duckweed into the sea. If there is no one to let him lean on, he will feel that he has been left behind and no one cares.
People who are insecure will feel more anxious when facing “long-distance love” or “another partner on a business trip.”
If he happens to be in good condition and looks good, of course the bees and butterflies around him will also realize his anxiety, so they will deliberately fly to him and circle around. If it happens that you are quarreling and fighting again, then you will usually get this ” People who happen to be around” to fill his insecurities.
4. Don’t like to express, always accumulate pressure to an explosion
There must be differences in thinking between people. If one of them always forbears, and the other is not aware of it, all emotions will explode in the end. The explosion does not necessarily mean a quarrel, it may be that one party directly broke up and disappeared completely.
What is expression?
When the other party does something that makes you feel happy or unhappy, you tell him how you feel.
For example, one day after get off work, the other party disappeared inexplicably, and did not call you back until early in the morning. You can tell him that you are worried about him, but you are not trying to accuse him or ask him to report later.
When you ask the other party to change for you, his change is usually short-lived. He is just afraid that you will be angry and change, and such a change is what you asked for.
But when you say your feelings, the other person understands your sadness in the same way, so he doesn’t want to hurt you anymore, so he changes. He changes from the heart, and this change will last forever.
Therefore, if the relationship is to last for a long time, it is necessary to talk about it. It doesn’t matter if you can’t talk about it right away, at least through text, note paper, etc. to communicate.
Five, don’t know how to take care of yourself
No one is born to take care of ourselves. We all learn to stand on our own in isolation and helplessness. We learn to stand up by patting our buttocks when we fall and are wounded and no one reaches out.
But there are two types of exceptions. One is that he has been taken care of too well, so he doesn’t need to take care of himself at all; the other is that it is too hard to take care of himself and it is better to let others take care of himself.
Since he doesn’t need to take care of himself, he gradually loses the ability to take care of himself, so he will be very accustomed to trouble others with everything. And this world is like this, when others know that you are in trouble, they will help you, but most have other purposes.
